Anti-V-Day Party

By The Crow's Nest staff

You may be bitter, you may be blue or you may not even care about the impending Valentine’s Day holiday. However, it is of little secret that the day annually creates quite a hubbub. Love is in the air for those fortunate or unfortunate enough to be in a relationship. Resentment is floating about the ether as well for those of us that are single. However, all negativity aside, there is still good-natured fun to be had by all.  What better way to celebrate with your equally emotionally-acrid friends than by throwing an Anti-Valentine’s Day party? 

Soundtrack:  Ditch Sinatra, ditch your coveted Drake. Nothing sonically represents the opposite of love-ballads and emotion than some good ol’ rap. You know exactly what we are talking about -- Nas, Westside Connection, Wu Tang -- should be the soundtrack to your event.  Why? Because there won’t be a hint of romance in any of these bars spit. 

Attire:  Black tie formal. Dress to your nines because couples celebrating the day shouldn’t be the only ones that get a chance to dress up and look great. Plot twist: stick to only black and white. These monochromatic hues can represent your anti-romantic views externally. 

Activities:

- Piñata filled with whatever you want. It’s not the arrival point, it’s the destination. Nothing gets frustration out that beating on a poor piece of cardboard.  

- Everyone download Tinder, and set location to less than 10 miles. Match with each other intentionally and feel really great about yourselves. 

- Text your ex. Just kidding. Don’t.

Food: Pizza and Ice Cream. Perfect break-up food.  Bake some heart cookies, decorate them and then smash them up and put them in a bowl. You can then all proceed to eat the broken bits in a gesture against the holiday spirit. 

Voodoo doll cookies: take the rage you feel towards your ex on some cookies. This way, everyone wins. Toothpicks in place of daggers can work with summoning phantom inflicted pain. 

Screener:  Screen some flicks in the background that scream against the celebrating hordes. Lighthearted fare such as The Big Lebowski or the seriousness of a movie such as Gone Girl can add another layer of dimension to your party. You don’t need to have everyone sit around and watch the film; it strictly should be used for background atmosphere.  Horror movies are the best avenue to travel if you’re attempting to keep distance from romance. 

Decorate Accordingly: Make sure you are genuinely celebrating as a Club of Blackhearts. Leave cupid to the wayside and bring out your inner Tim Burton.  Screenshot images from “TextsFromYourEx” via Instagram or Tinder, and post them around your humble abode. This will constantly create great conversation and set as a reminder as to why you aren’t in a relationship.